When Christmas Jumpers become socially acceptable once again, you know we're almost there. The 25th is closer than we think, and after a long day scrounging the bargain bin for Aunt Gladice's stocking filler, there's nothing better than to cuddle up with a loved one in front of a roaring fire, a glass of mulled wine in one hand, and in the other a remote control, turning up the volume as Bruce Willis yells 'YIPPEE KI-YAY MOTHERF**KER.'
Die Hard is just one example of films that have become synonymous with the festive season, but what other gems out there have found themselves cemented in our TV guides at Christmas? The best thing about this season is however, is that these films we see are special in their own haphazard way.
Jingle All the Way
'So bad it's....watchable.' Schwarzenegger is all too well known in the crappy classic genre, but this film is actually highly valued in my household, as I imagine it is with many others. The plot is that Schwarzaneggar searches high and low to find the allusive Turbo Man doll for his son. Unfortunately, the toy alludes him, and the pain and anguish his son feels fuels his rage, leading him to slowly punish the galaxy atop his Death Star. I kid of course, though a cross over between Jingle All The Way and Phantom Menace (Schwarzenegger's son also plays young Anakin in Episode I) could have done no harm. Regardless, Jingle All The Way has that Christmas spirit at its heart, and parents know all too well the turmoil they suffer to find that one specific toy. Festive fun and simplicity lies at the heart here, and that's easily transferable across the generations. A great matinee watch for the whole family...or the unemployed Jake Lloyd to look back and wonder what happened.
Gremlins
As much as Furbies tried their hardest to pretend they were a unique invention, they couldn't kid anyone. The classic Christmas toy caused nightmares across the globe as the little cretins attempted to contact their brethren telekinetically during the night, even though you swore on your Tracey island you flicked the off switch. Almost as freakish was the film the toy was based on, who's loose ties with the Christmas season have set it up for decades of December viewing. Gremlins is playing at my town hall this weekend on the big screen, and although I would love to revisit the trauma in high definition, I think I'll pass. Still, the film is a classic that has utilised PG horror to its fullest potential and created a memorable movie monster that is cute and evil crunched into a fur ball. Send the little buggers to space I say, least I can guarantee there's no water up there.
Batman Returns
Scantily clad spinsters in a 'do it yourself' gimp suit? I don't know about you guys but that screams 'Christmas' to me. Michelle Pfeiffer as catwoman is just one little festive joy that is sure to be found in the holiday season. Tim Burton's Batman Returns has a cold chill which keeps with the theme of the season, but fortunately doesn't overload with the chilly puns some of the later sequels have (looking at you Arnold) and isn't a half bad caper. Michael Keaton is a passable Batman, and DeVito as penguin does the role some justice, but despite some of its ineptitude, it's still a comical yarn that can entertain in the holidays, even with Pfeiffer's...oddity. Unfortunately the only thing she may share with her feline friendlies is that the pee is silent.
Love Actually
Now, firstly, I'm not a huge fan of Love Actually. However on querying my mother with her favourite Christmas classics she pointed me in this direction. Truthfully it is quite a highly regarded film among the rom-com fans, and it has a Christmas twang which allows its inclusion, but the magic behind this film is not in its narrative or characters, but in its uncanny ability to distract your missus for just long enough for you to take a breather. For 135 minutes you can put your feet up and doze off, getting away from all the hassle of buying presents and putting up decorations. The season may be beautiful, but so is peace and quiet, and the two don't go hand in hand. Yet with Love Actually in your stocking this year, you'll get the greatest gift anyone can get; a break. Men, this ones for you.
The Shining
Hiding in your loved ones arms, it's the little things that bring us together. Arguably somewhat disrespectful to include The Shining in any list that involves Jingle all the Way, but alas here we are. A tour de force for horror, suspense and film making mastery, you can watch The Shining any day of any week of any year, but it holds a special place at Christmas time. Park it in front of the TV this winter and put on Kubrick's classic and be engrossed in everything Christmas symbolises. Paranoia, fear, panic. Happy holidays everybody!
No comments:
Post a Comment